Confessions of a cosmetics maven

I have always been a cosmetics and skin care maven,  as was my mom. I suppose it is genetic. When I was 13, I blew my allowance on Tangee Natural lipstick and  Noxzema skin cream, which Mom , with some persuading on my part, reluctantly  approved.

Tangee lipstick had the ability to change color. ( I wonder how natural it was!)  There was an ad for  Noxzema that read: “If girls with the most beautiful skin in the world wash with Noxzema, why shouldn’t  you?”  

At age 13, I was hooked. Not only did I wash with it, I slathered  the cream on my face as a nighttime  moisturizer. This slathering proved  problematic for my  younger sister who  was my roommate.  She complained ad nauseum  to Mom that I smelled awful.

As an exhausted  young mom and nursing student, my navigating and getting lost in the drugstore aisles was a healthy outlet. Exploring the counters at high-end stores was like being on a treasure hunt. When cosmetic stores came on the scene, I was heaven-bound. It was my sons who received the allowance. For me it was “look, don’t buy.”

As a working mom,  undeniably  there were many “what was I thinking?” moments. The  bright blue eye shadow with cherry-colored lips was especially scary. Equally scary was the nude lipstick paired with black eyeliner. The  sparkly eyeshadow phase caused much consternation to my  sons. The look of horror when the sparkles migrated down onto my face was enough for me to rethink them.

As I began to age forward, my quest  turned to  age-defying  products. Creams and serums that promised the fountain of youth were plentiful. I had a drawerful of creamy concealers that were supposed to brighten my tired looking eyes. 

Blush was  worn on the apple of the cheeks and light-reflecting foundations were all the rage.  They were  purported to soften the features under harsh lighting. A little aside: Some time after my husband Sweet Frank died,  I tentatively started dating. When my date asked me to pick a restaurant, naturally, I selected one with dim lighting.

Then there was the contouring craze that needed an array of bronzers and highlighters to create definition. I would stand in front of the mirror, trying to follow the tutorials that chiselled my cheekbones.  The contouring trend was brief. My family’s reaction to my contoured face was a stunned silence. When I checked the mirror, I looked jaundiced.

Oh, the irony: Nowadays cosmetics are all about looking natural and feeling good in our own skin.  We wear makeup to appear that we are not wearing  makeup.   This, my friends, is time-consuming. Skincare that is plant based is popular.  It promises to save the planet while promising nourishment alongside beauty.

Here’s the catch:  I see these products on social media and easily fall prey to their allure. The algorithms used in advertising seem to have  my number.  For example,  if I check out an advertisement, it is not too long after I am inundated with more temptation. They promise so much but  the cost is dear.   Fixed income women, beware!

I remember splurging on a tiny jar of plant-based anti-aging cream, blissfully ignoring its price tag. That jar practically whispered promises of naturally erasing fine lines and delivering a glow rivaling the sun. Then reality hit—the plant-based serum whispering sweet nothings wiped out my budget for the month;  unfortunately, it did not wipe out the fine lines.

To achieve the natural look for your brows,  one is supposed to brush them up! But first, one must let them grow in, resulting in a unibrow.  However, gone  is the  merciless tweezing— thinning the brows to the point of making them obscure. Eyebrow pencil then  swooped  in to save the day. Painful and counter-productive. 

Creamy blush is placed high on the cheekbones to give one a natural uplifted look.  Smile lines and freckles are allowed to peak through our makeup for a  non-makeup look! Gone is the lipliner. A little tinted lip balm will do ya!

Friends, as I write this, I am clean-faced in theory, yet undeniably older than thirteen. The innocence of my youth and my Noxzema days are gone, replaced by the wisdom to know that this natural glow costs more than my allowance ever did—and it still  doesn’t fool anyone into believing I woke up like this.